Career Ending Injuries and other Stresses

By using the above chart, I have calculated my personal stress level of the past month to be 433. The legend at the bottom of the chart suggests “If you score more than 200, you have an above average level of stress and should simplify your life.
By reading that ridiculous statement, I think my score went up to 443.Either way, I expect more than doubling the "average level of stress" ain't good.

A few recent stresses: I sold the house that I have lived in for the past fifteen years (my longest stint, I believe, in any home in my life). I bought a new home. I went through childbirth, twice. (Passing Strange just came out, and I delivered a new book to my editor. Um, ok, so maybe that isn't quite as stressful as actual childbirth). I’ve been travelling, a lot. Never been to Kansas my entire life before this year, and yet I’ll be there for my third time in five weeks when I head out for the unRequired Reading book tour. Life is weird.

The highest individual stress score I awarded myself, worth 53 points, was for one of the most gruesome sports injuries of my entire life. While no one would ever confuse me with a world class athlete, I tend to be very competitive and what I lack in natural ability I compensate with tenacity and resilience. I play hard, and I almost never ever get hurt.

Except, now I do.

I went to play basketball with a friend of mine in his local church league, hoping to burn off a little of the huge amount of stress I’d been carrying. I’m always nervous when I start playing in a new league, but I I could hang with these guys. I'd been running 3-6 miles five days a week so although I still look like a lumpy animated couch cushion I could get up and down the floor pretty well. I started out great. In the first minute of the game, I had an assist and two rebounds, one of them offensive. I got my third rebound ten seconds later, but when I came down my right knee buckled laterally and there was this awful sound,like someone ripping into a sheet of bubble wrap, and I went over.

My first thought wasn’t “ouch”—actually it didn’t hurt all that much, it just felt kind of weird—my first thought was—“that’s it, the career ending injury. I’ll never play basketball again".

This was not a pleasant thought, by any stretch of the imagination. By favorite personal recreational activities, in order, are writing, reading, listening to music, and playing basketball. And jogging is somewhere in the top ten, and considering my knee was making crinkly-cellophane sounds as I limped off the court, I thought that maybe I’d lost that one as well.

It is the old saw about not appreciating something until it is gone—I tell you, the prospect that I’d never be able to play pickup basketball again left me with a deep, deep despondency. I guess I'm getting old! How did that happen?

But here we are about six weeks later, and the air has cleared considerably (although I'd never want it to clear too much; the fact of the matter is a bit of stress is good for the ol' writin'). We’re in our new house, and the massive stress of selling/buying/moving is behind me. And the first “home improvement” project I did was set up a roll away regulation NBA hoop. Every night that I’ve been home and the sun is out (or the rain isn’t too heavy) I’m out in the driveway with the kids or by myself shooting around. I ran two miles yesterday and three today. I’m stubborn. But the knee is feeling really good.

And I'm a little more thankful every time I shoot a jump shot, regardless of whether it swishes through, clangs off the rim, or misses entirely, because, no matter how much I may want to, I won't be able to shoot them forever.

I also wanted to extend a special thank you to Kati, who took the time to write a note to tell me how my newest novel Passing Strange affected her. Kati, your note made a big impact on me as well; as a writer sometimes all you want out of your work is that it reaches a single reader. I'd just hurt the knee, and was feeling pretty sorry for myself and whah whah whah, but your note got me thinking and lifted my spirits considerably. Thank you, thank you, thank you--I really appreciate you taking the time.

Oh, and PS--I'll probably be blogging a bit more now that I've moved. That was literally a year-long project, one that I'm glad to see behind me.

And also PS--please buy PS, Passing Strange, at your earliest convenience. At fine bookstores everywhere!

Speechifying

I’ll be speaking this Sunday at the Hartford Public Library during the Letters about Literature, which is open to the public. I was one of the judges this year and I had the privilege of reading some fantastic letters. Bring your zombie or trad friends and I’ll sign yer books. Not the libraries’ books, though, because you aren’t supposed to write in those.

In other thrilling news, the paperback of Kiss of Life is due to come out on May 25. Make certain that you buy a case or two, because you can never have enough Kisses. Buy one for everyone on your Facebook friend list, and post this message: “Hey…I got a special Kiss, just for you!”. They will no doubt think that you are very considerate and cool. Or possibly creepy and strange, if they are only your Facebook friend because their uncle’s niece’s cousin’s bffl likes Glee and you like Glee too. Or you met because of Farmville. Either way, I’ll sell more books and I really appreciate your business.

PS: PS will be out June 1. Pick up a case or two of those, too.

Ali Smith Interview

Ali Smith shot the photos for all of my books, including the ones for Passing Strange,above(did I mention I received a couple copies of the actual book from my brilliant editor? It is even prettier in person!)--so naturally I love her and think she is awesome. I thought it would be fun to do a mini-interview with her, so here it is!

And before I forget, make sure you check out her work at her fabulous website, alismith.com. And while you are there, check out the "Making of a Bookcover" video, which features some of the beautiful GenDead cover models!


1. Why are you a photographer?

it suits the way i live and helps me make sense of the world. i've always been a visual learner and visually expressive. Plus I have strong beliefs and curiosities and care about sharing them. it's the way i have found to express myself best and tell stories. my mind sees stories in chunks rather than fluid narrative. I might as well embrace that.



2. Who/what/where inspires you?

i come from a music background- punk and all that goes along with that. I played in bands most of my teen and adult life and traveled the world with it. Punk artists- like siouxsie sioux and exene cervenka- were visually genius. the whole punk aesthetic was creative and painterly. those things still inform me. my punk and goth days definitely informed all the gen dead covers! before music, i was a ballerina. that brings an appreciation for another aesthetic. if i were a lot younger and didn't sound like a fool saying it, i'd call my aesthetic a " mash up" of a few different lifestyles I've had.

my political beliefs inspire me as do my feminist beliefs and my search for meaning.



3. What is the best thing about your what you do?

F-R-E-E-D-O-M! and the blurring of the line between work and life. i mean i work damn hard, but i love what i do. I get to make art for a living and it melts fantastically into my off hours so that it all just becomes about being creative!



4. Any advice for aspiring photographers?

If you love it, you should be doing it. If not, why bother. making a living at anything is a challenge, but nothing beats loving what you do every day.



5. Tell us about your new book

It's a photo based look at the realities of how woman live their lives as mothers.

My first book, Laws of the Bandit Queens, was released by Random House and was a celebration of women who'd influenced my career and personal goals throughout my twenties and on into my thirties. It included portraits of and "life laws" from 35 extraordinary women such as Alice Walker, Sandra Bernhard, Geraldine Ferraro, Janeane Garofalo, Pat Schroeder and Sheryl Swoopes. The idea was the construction, through these life laws, of an alternate life philosophy that made more sense to me and to the women around me, who sometimes felt out of step with or unsupported by accepted social norms.

Momma Love picks up where Bandit Queens left off. It still reveres an enthusiastic, vibrant, longing spirit in women, but it shows the ways in which that spirit is inevitably altered—sometimes frustratingly diminished, sometimes gloriously enhanced—by motherhood. Also addressed is the transformation that’s occurred between the way our own mothers experienced motherhood and what it’s like to be a mother today, illuminating the differences and some of the startling similarities as well.

Thanks, Ali!

Wish You Were Here

Many years ago, I lost my mother to cancer. Among the million individual sadnesses I have about that fact (first among them: that she was never able to meet my children), one that pained me for years is something that I'd told her in her final days, namely that I was going to have a novel published in the near future. It had been my goal since I was very young to make myself into a novelist, and my mother was probably the most supportive person in my life as I worked towards achieving that goal. The week before she died, I'd entered into contract discussions with a publisher for an adult thriller I'd written entitled Skin and Bones. Immediately upon hanging up the phone after talking with my agent, I rushed into my mother's room to tell her the good news. The look of happiness that cut momentarily through her pain was one of the few pleasant memories of those days. Her expression, and her words to me as she placed her hot hand against my cheek: "That's you, Danny," she said. "That's you."

A month or so later the publisher (who, admittedly, I'd never heard of prior to my so-called book deal) went bankrupt and not long after that my then-agent and I parted ways. I never stopped writing, but for a few years I stopped submitting my work for publication. The real fun was in the writing, anyway. But I've always felt badly that one of my final assurances to my mother--that I would be fine, that I would be doing what I loved--did not come to pass. At least, it did not come to pass in the time frame or the manner in which I'd told her it would. Some years would pass before I decided to leave my cave, manuscript pages of Generation Dead in hand, and take another stab at "getting published". There were many setbacks and disappointments along the way, but I was sustained along the way both by my promise to her, and her words to me--"that's you". I got there eventually, but there were many nights where I thought that I would never make good on my promise.

Writers fall in two distinct camps generally with regards to their families and early formative experiences--they either had a happy, supportive and almost idyllic childhood, or else their family life is an endless wellspring of bitterness, horror and trauma. One or the other background seems to fuel the writing of most writers I've known. I'd definitely count myself in the former group.

Earlier this week, my brilliant and talented editor sent me a couple copies of the new Kiss of Life paperback and, finally, the soon-to-be released Passing Strange hardcover. I dedicated this one to my parents, Jeff and Elaine.

Miss you, Mom.

The Making of a Book Cover

I've been very fortunate in that I've worked with absolutely brilliant people on my books. Two of those brilliant people are the photographer and the designer of thebook covers, Ali Smith and Elizabeth H. Clark, respectively.

Would you like to see a brief video on the making of the Kiss of Life and Passing Strange book covers? Of course you would! Who wouldn't? Go to the March 31 entry on Ali's blog HERE. And stay tuned, because I am hoping to get Ali to do a guest blog here at some point.

You'll notice, upon watching the video, that everyone at the shoot is gorgeous. Everyone. Models, artists, editors; all are drop-dead (har har!) gorgeous.

This may be why I have never been invited to one of the photo shoots.

I think that the fear--the altogether justifiable fear--is that I might possibly scoop one of the participants up, sling them across over my broad and hairy back, and then scamper Quasimodo-like out the window to shimmy up the side of the building. Once I reached the relative safety of the rooftop ledge where my gargoyle brethren await, I'd do nothing more harmful to my shrieking captive than read tender love sonnets and stare mournfully first at them, and then at the setting sun, with my one lazy puppy-dog eye.

Sigh.

Go watch the video!

Kiss Me Once, Kiss Me Twice, Come on Pretty Baby

I'll have a story called Many Happy Returns in the above anthology, which is stacked with some of the best writers working in YA today. I'm thrilled to have my work appear alongside theirs, especially as this is only my second anthology appearance, ever. Kiss Me Deadly will be out this July.

Many Happy Returns, btw, is a Generation Dead story. You won't see Phoebe or Adam or Margi or any of the gang from the novels, but you will have the opportunity to return to their differently biotic world. And I sincerely hope that you do! It gets lonely there, sometimes!

PS: Is that an awesome cover, or what?

unRequired Reading Tour

I'm hitting the road this June in support of GDIII:Passing Strange as part of Hyperion's unRequired Reading Tour along with Kristen Tracy, Brent Crawford Stacey Klemstein, Emily Franklin, Brendan Halpin, and Liz Rudnick. Dates and locations to follow, but you can become a fan of the unRequired Reading Facebook page HERE and I promise we'll get some neat-o keen content up real soon.