QE Results for May and the Three Energies of Creative Production Theory

Feet firmly planted on Beale St.

In January I wrote a blog post entitled Queer Eye, My Daughter, and I where I related some of the experience and pleasure I had binge-watching the two season of the show with my daughter over the holiday break, and in doing so basically laid out a self-improvement (or self assessment, at least) plan for the year.  The plan involves taking an honest inventory of where am in life with regards to five categories, as I see them, as exemplified by the men on the Netflix show Queer Eye.  And so, an honest assessment on my performance for May in the five QE categories:

KARAMO: "Culture, Confidence, Put yourself out there". 4.5 stars. I wrote 200 pages, with more of a day to day, week to week balance than I had with April's photo finish. I did not write enough fiction, I am afraid, and blaming it on my two lengthy business trips would be a little disingenuous, although I have this "Three Energies" theory when it comes to creative production. In short, I believe there are three different types of energy you need to have to be able to successfully perform your chosen art:

Activation Energy: This is the energy required to generate a new idea and actually get started on bringing it to life--writing the first page, getting the first notes recorded, making some marks on the canvass. I have this in spades; I've got dozens of story ideas supported by outlines, notes, and the first twenty or so manuscript pages. They are stacked up in my mind and my hard drive like airplanes awaiting clearance for takeoff

Sustaining Energy: This is the energy required to just put your head down and keep working toward the finish line even when every page is more like slogging through a dismal swamp than it is like skipping through a lush garden as it often is during the activation energy phase. This is the form of creative energy, for myself, anyway, that is most likely to be drained away like your cellphone's charge when you are out of network and surfing the web by the vagaries of life. The bad day at work, the routine broken, the unpleasant news, the glance at a finished project so much better than your WIP--all can suck that spirit right out of you. My sustaining energy does take a hit when the non-writing work and travel amp up, but I've been at the game long enough to figure out ways to compensate for this.

Finishing Energy: This is the energy--some would say the moral fortitude--to actually finish off a project and pronounce it done (which isn't at all the same thing as being fully satisfied with the project; frankly that never happens). Getting through those last twenty pages, writing your last line, completing the draft, etc. I've got this one in spades, too--and I'm thankful for that, because I actually think this is the energy many creative people struggle with the most.

One of my trips brought me to Memphis, and I was overjoyed to have a night to myself which almost never happens for work trips. I made the most of it with a sunny stroll down Beale Street and visited a couple of my favorite haunts there.

Despite my dearth of sustaining energy writing-wise, I did get out quite a bit this month--I joined my friend and HWA Mentor award-winning JG Faherty in a beautiful part of New York on a torrentially rainy night for the Rockland Teen Library Association's book launch party for Scrawl, a student anthology that Greg and I helped edit. I got to give a speech and I gave every one of the students that had a story in Scrawl a free copy of Generation Dead. It was a fun night.

Two smooth guys. JG Faherty and I

Kim and I went to an opera at the Garde Arts Centre--Verdi's Don Carlo, our first. I loved the music; we were seated in the first row so I could see every draw of the bow on the strings. 

I also started going out to the movies weekly with my father...more on that in the upcoming What I Watched: May blog. I've eaten more popcorn in the past month than I have in the previous year, easily. And I like popcorn.

This came out. Translation: The Curse. There's no curses in the movie or the book...talk about a red herring! 

TAN: "Make an effort with your personal appearance". A raise to 3. I've been going out more and have gotten better at dressing accordingly; the concert t-shirts are now relegated mostly for lounge-around-the-house wear. I'm putting all of my new slimmer fitting clothes to actual use.

Me making an effort with my personal appearance at Tater Red's. I'm well aware I'm cenobite-esque, thank you very much

BOBBY: "Create and maintain a physical environment that promotes productivity, creativity and inner harmony". I'm keeping it at 3.5, mostly because of more work on the yard and a quick tidying of my home office. I also got the pool opened up--and the pool is huge in promoting "productivity, creativity, and inner harmony" but I'm having a little trouble getting the chemistry of it just right, which has never happened before.

ANTONI: "Make nutrition healthy and enjoyable, cook for others". 2.5 still. Kim and I hosted the family for a Memorial Day cookout and I made potato salad and manned the grill--rather pedestrian, just burgers and dogs but I will say they were cooked perfectly and according to taste. Stuck to my diet but wasn't irrationally rigid about it either.

JONATHAN: "Take care of yourself physically" Staying at a 4.  I ran 118.6 miles, making May my fifth consecutive +100 month, a feat I'm certain I've never done before in my life. In five months, I've eclipsed my totals for the entire years of 2018, 2016, 2015, 2013, and 2012. I started keeping track of such things in 2011, the year I set my personal best, and now only that and 2017 (I beat 2014 on the first day of June!) stand in my way for a new yearly record. 

Some lifting, but not as consistent as I'd like to be. But the results are starting to show...

 17.5 my high but with only one bump in one category. Progress is progress, though.

Reading/watching/listening posts will soon follow.

I combine reading and listening, and writing, in my novel Aural History, which you can find HERE, along with my other ghost/zombie/human/punk/metal/sporto novels below...

February QE Results

In January I wrote a blog post entitled Queer Eye, My Daughter, and I where I related some of the experience and pleasure I had binge-watching the two season of the show with my daughter over the holiday break, and in doing so basically laid out a self-improvement (or self assessment, at least) plan for the year.  The plan involves taking an honest inventory of where am in life with regards to five categories, as I see them, as exemplified by the men on the Netflix show Queer Eye.  And so, an honest assessment on my performance for February in the five QE categories:

KARAMO: "Culture, Confidence, Put yourself out there". I remain at 4.5 stars. I wrote 229.5 pages, which actually eclipses the January pb of 241.5 in terms of per day average pay count (3 fewer days). I worked on the new novel, a Generation Dead novella, and I completed a short story, an event which happens maybe once a year. I wrote three blog posts, read sixteen books, and saw two concerts (Corrosion of Conformity and Cheap Trick). Next month Kim and I have front row center seats for a bucket list concert in Boston, her gift to celebrate me turning a half a century old!

I had a solo trip to Tampa that was half business and half personal business, but managed to fit in some writing, running, and even a few laps in the hotel pool. Midway through the trip I had wonderful paella meal at the Columbia restaurant in Ybor City while watching the flamenco show, and prior to the show took a walk around where I took the photo above of the local theater.

Also, Break My Heart 1,000 Times/I Still See You came out in Poland:

Not my hand...I found this on Instagram

Readers in Poland are very supportive...I've been amazed at the beautifully designed photos I've seen on Instagram. Dziękuję!

TAN: "Make an effort with your personal appearance". Up from 1.5 to 2 as I have acquired more new clothes and am actually wearing them outside the house--Kim and I have had dinner out several times and I'm generally making more of an effort than I have in say the past decade.

BOBBY: "Create and maintain a physical environment that promotes productivity, creativity and inner harmony". A three, no real change here, although Kim and I have been working in front of the fireplace more which is a nice change of pace.

ANTONI: "Make nutrition healthy and enjoyable, cook for others". Maybe slipped from a 2.5 to a 2 as I haven't done any meal prep for Kim other than salads which I eat three nights a week. I'm still adhering to Austerity (see Secrets of Weight Loss, Revealed) but have relaxed enough to consume several pizzas and go out with Kim on several occasions without my usually level of intolerance and anti-fun diligence. 

JONATHAN: "Take care of yourself physically" I'll give myself a half point here to elevate to 3.5 as I ran 122 miles and have achieved my "target weight", although I now feel I could drop a few more without harm, especially as I've relaxed a few of the dietary restrictions that make life a little less fun.

This puts me at a 15 overall for February, gaining a half star in two categories while backsliding in another. I'm not sure who among the QE men would signify as the avatar for "take care of yourself mentally" (Karamo? Jonathan?) but for the record I'd have to say I'm pleased with my results for February, which traditionally is a month where I'm at war with the blue fog and not always winning.

Next up, I'll blog about the sixteen books I read, the film I watched, and the new music I listened to. 

Speaking of books and music, if you enjoy my blog and/or my young adult novels, you might enjoy my exclusive kindle novel Aural History. A mere $4.99, or free if you are a kindleunlimited patron.

Check Aural History out HERE

Does the Song Really Remain the Same?

QE 2: January Results, Writing, and the Owl

He Whoo Watches and Waits

In January I wrote a blog post entitled Queer Eye, My Daughter, and I that related some of the experience and pleasure I had binge-watching the two season of the show with my daughter over the holiday break, and in doing so basically laid out a self-improvement (or self assessment, at least) plan for the year. A year, by the way, that I will--Lord willing and the creek don't rise--celebrate a half century of haunting this earth. The plan involves taking an honest inventory of where am in life with regards to five categories, as I see them, as exemplified by the men on the Netflix show Queer Eye, known to fans as the Fab Five. There's a certain value in "reporting out", both in terms of the accountability doing so provides and in the added motivation to not look like a chump for poor performance, plus there might also be a little thrill of pride to be felt when one performs well, as I believe I did in January. And so, an honest assessment on in the five QE categories:

KARAMO: In my previous definition of what Karamo represents, I failed to mention that a key component is how cultured one is, how open to new experiences, and by extrapolation I would add how intellectually aggressive. These characteristics, coupled with taking responsibility, being self confident, and putting yourself out there make the Karamo scale of key importance in driving one's overall QE score (and as I mentioned in the previous post, could be the most limiting if one's initial score is high!) For January, I'm giving myself a four and half. I read fifteen books, and more importantly to myself, and I would guess to most people following this blog because they found it after reading one of my novels, I wrote two-hundred forty one and a half pages this month, which is a personal best since I've been tracking such things. That's 241.5, and it includes a bunch of chapters on a new YA novel which my agent seems enthused about. 241.5 pages would be enough pages for a short novel if it was all one project and all fiction, which it isn't, but as the duration and output of writing is the single biggest factor to my overall happiness, I'm very happy I was a writin' fiend in January. As "putting myself out there", what little I'm doing is all virtual, but five blog posts (included in my page count) and periodic social media posts (not included in my page count) is more than I usually do.

TAN: "Make an effort with your personal appearance". I gave myself a 1 when I started, I'm raising that to 1.5 for January because I bought some new clothes and a watch I really like. I might have given myself a two but I haven't actually worn the clothes, or left the house except for work, a couple dates with Kim, and my trip to the Book Barn. I'm writing this now in a fifteen year old pair of sweatpants and an even older XL Haunted Mansion t-shirt, which now looks like a billowing circus tent on me (more on that later),

I did wear the watch, though. I love it. I got it off eBay.

I know what time it is

BOBBY: "Create and maintain a physical environment that promotes productivity, creativity and inner harmony". I was a three last time and a three in January, although I received from my mother in law that wicked sweet owl in the photo at the top whoo now watches over me when I work, and the bottle next to him is "Phantasm", which a good friend gave me to celebrate the release of I Still See You. The wine was fantastic.

ANTONI: Make nutrition healthy and enjoyable, cook for others. I'll go from 2 to 2.5 here. My Austerity diet is a weird time for me (see Secrets of Weight Loss, Revealed) because I eat next to nothing, but I have cooked a great deal in January, mainly stir fries and exotically spiced roast vegetables.  But Kim ate some of the stuff that I made and I thought it was great, so half a point seems fair.

JONATHAN: I'm giving myself a full point here, going from a two to a three. "Take care of yourself physically"--I had a personal best in terms of miles run in a month at a little over 155 miles, which is insane. I'm one step away from the half century mark! Last week I started planking and weightlifting, too, which I usually don't do until I am below my target weight in the mistaken and thoroughly unscientific belief that I immediately start regaining the weight when I lift, as though the meager barbells I hoist will inflate my arms and chest muscles to epic proportions after a few straining sets.

I also bought some "product" for bald men, which is supposed to moisturize and "add luster" to my pointy head. We'll see. But I am pretty excited that I got some product--I haven't had any beyond deodorant, toothpaste, shaving cream, and cologne for a number of years. I miss shampoo.

So it was a great month, self-improvement and productivity-wise. Beginning of the year, twelve points out of a possible twenty-five; after one month I'm already up to fourteen and half points with improvement in four out of five categories, well on my way to be a fully-actualized human being.

Stay tuned for February, that hideous month where I, like Karen, typically must do battle with the dreaded Blue Fog. Which you know all about if you've read my book Passing Strange, the third novel in the Generation Dead series.

Karen's book, but her cover is Generation Dead's 

Don't forget to click here and buy my books so I can continue to improve. Give Aural History a shot; you can read for free if you are an Amazon Prime member.

Secrets of Weight Loss--Revealed

Not Actual Size

The adventures of the Ketosis Kid have begun, as they have every January first or second for the past six years. I'm revealing my secret identity publicly for the first time, and why not? I was denied entrance into the Legion of Super-Heroes in favor of my old partner Matter-Eater Lad, but I can't say I blame them. Terrible Breath and Extreme Irritability aren't very spectacular super powers, especially as so many people share them. But I thought I'd record a few things for posterity in light of last years' epic battle (The Ketosis Kid vs. Oumuamu) which I won by (literally) the narrowest of margins.

Ouch.

My secret origin is quite simple; about six years ago, in a fit of self-loathing and disgust, I embarked on what I termed "The Austerity Diet" on January 2nd, which essentially was the result me taking an honest look at all of the foods and beverages I love and have a tendency to overindulge in and deciding I would not eat or drink any of those things until April first. I was already an avid (if ungainly) runner, good for ten to twenty miles a week, and a vegetarian,  so I figured these factors combined with jettisoning cheese, beer, bread, pasta, snacks, fun, joie de vivre, the will to live, etc. would have some weight loss benefits. More superstition than science, the Austerity Diet produced results (other than the aforementioned dragon breath and irritability) and not only had I reached my "target weight", I sailed past it by more than ten pounds. I lost exactly fifty pounds in four months (some of which were probably my brains and whatever my will to live weighs), or 22.8% of my total weight. The photo of me above is me at my lightest; I was so light that fourth graders could pick me up and toss me in the pond--which they often did. 

On April second I went back to eating and exercising normally, and over the course of the next eight months I would gain back a bunch of those pounds. So, convinced the Austerity Diet was the plan for me, I did it again the following year, but this time saying I would go back to my gluttonous ways as soon as I hit my target weight, which I would typically do by March 1st. As it is a well-known fact that February is an eternal enemy of the Ketosis kid, and I would not enjoy that hated month no matter what I did, I might as well pack it full of suffering. This was a good system and routine for many years.

Until 2018, where I kind did away with Austerity. Routines are dull! Self-denial is the hallmark of a boring life! I didn't fully eliminate all of the foods I was supposed to eat, and March 1 came and went and I hadn't hit my target. Probably because by then I wasn't really exercising like I had been for the past decade. Really, I'd been mailing it in since September 2017, logging only about ten miles a month on average when I had been clocking eighty-five to a hundred in those cruddy winter months. Whatever. Running is such a drag, though!Eh...life is short! Don't worry about it! Back to business as usual. 

But at the start of January, Oumuamua was growing--and moving--inside of me. 

Once Oumuamua was defeated on Sept. 18, I knew it would be a great deal of work to get back to where I was, in multiple aspects of my life. Time once again to become the Ketosis Kid! So after resting up for a few weeks after banishing Oumuamua, I started a regular running regimen again in mid-October, taking it easy to start. I also cut back on a few of the things that I knew would have to go once I went into full Austerity. I faced the new year fully primed to become the Ketosis Kid.

And guess what? In the three days of 2019, I've run over twenty miles, which is more than I ran in total in the months of Sept. '17, Dec. '17, Jan. '18, March '18, April '18, and May '18. It is more than almost any two of those months combined. Thankfully, I'm only about fifteen pounds off my target and I'm feeling great, so maybe I'll be able to quit before March 1st and enjoy part of the crappiest month of the year, February.

Many of want to lose weight and become better people (two desires which can be conjoined but are mutually exclusive more often than not). I go into this at length not to sell you on my particular weight loss plan, which is not fun after the first week, unscientific, and quite possibly unhealthy. It works for me, though...and therein lies my real point:

Find out what works for you, work on what works for you, test it constantly, give it up when it isn't working, but hold on for dear life once you realize it is. I hope it is obvious I'm not really talking about the weight loss thing here, I'm talking about the essential habits and routines that make you your most successful, fully realized version of you. Austerity wasn't the only beneficial habit I quit on last year, and it has taken me many months to rebuild. I can blame Oumuamua, but really, was Oumuamua the cause, or the effect? Either way, I will be better prepared if Oumuamua or one of its hideous alien minions reenters my orbit.

I'm apologize for roping you in, if that is what I did, with the false flag of weight loss promises. Burn more calories than you consume, I guess. Who knows.

With love, 

The Ketosis Kid